A common joke among addicts
How would you know that you are now drunk? One gentleman goes to the bar. As he is drinking, he’s looking at a photo. The bar maid wondered and asked, why do you gaze at that photo every time you sip?
The reveller replied, “this is a drunkometer.” the maid asked, “how does it work?” when I see my wife beautiful, then I know am drunk, put the photo in the pocket and go home.
a mistake by a catholic priest
One day, a catholic priest during mass forgot that he had no wine for Eucharist celebration. He asked for anybody who alter wine within church (congregation). Someone at the back of the church said he had but the wine is in dirty jerrycan. Then the priest suggested, they put the wine under the alter and that it will become blood of Jesus anyway.
That day everybody became drunk with the wine (which they believed was the blood of Jesus). When the Bishop heard what had happened, suspended the priest.
Earlier Free Hearts admitted a client from Kenya who after a very short period of his time escaped and got lost for about two weeks and when he was found, he was brought in by the police and immediately a nurse administered an injection hoping that he would sleep but he instead went to his room, picked up his clothes and begun washing. I wondered and asked him why are you washing instead of resting, he replied and said, "i am back in the rehab to be clean."
How to leave rehab
The two boys in Rehab
Two young boys were brought to the rehabilitation center for marijuana abuse. They exchanged information and began to be friendly.
At some point during their stay, one of them asked the other, “I would like to be discharged. What can I do?” The other answered, ” the way I see the owners of this rehab walk out and in, the best way of leaving is to own it.” The other asked how it could be done. The other replied, “By buying it.” And he continued, “I wonder how much they are selling this rehab.” An amazing answer came from the other friend by saying, “who told you am selling it?”
potatoes & Eggs
In a rehab, a lot of potatoes were being served during food time. Family members began to complain that the potatoes were causing them to get heartburn.
The next day the proprietor began cooking eggs. After a week of cooking boiled eggs, another complaint rose up that the eggs caused them to fart. Thereafter the proprietor began cooking eggs and potatoes. After two weeks of eggs and potatoes, a supervisor visited and asked what the main problem in the center was. They all answered, “Potatoes and eggs.”
The therapist said, “I think this a great lesson. Potatoes entered the rehab and became soft after cooking them while eggs entered the rehab and became hard after being cooked.”
“Gentleman, the lesson is this,” the therapist said. “Both eggs and potatoes are entering the same hot water. Therefore, entering the rehab can either make you soft or hard.”
Politeness & Firmness
One day, while i was working in a rehab in Nairobi, we received a client from Tanzania who was a catholic priest. I think he did not want to change his behavior so, he comes in and asks us if he can say mass and usually with mass, there is bread and wine so, we showed him a spot to go and say mass. After mass he came out with a five litre jerrycan full of wine and told us it had become the blood and no longer wine, he suggested we let him stay with it in his bag. It was a laugh of material because we all knew that he wanted to stay around wine so he was calling it blood.